Do Or Do Not, Divorce, Julie vs. INTJ

It's been a week a half since I wrote about moving on from Julie.  Looking back at what happened back then with Julie and what happened when I was with Katherine made me recognize the duality of both situations.  When I was with Katherine, during my last day volunteering at the hospital, she yelled that she was in love with me.  Being the idiot that I am, I simply smiled and waved goodbye.  I never tried tell her I felt the same way.  With Julie, I tried so much, so much more than I had before, only to have it backfire horribly.  I guess in the end I have to let it happen naturally.  It should not be nothing nor should it be everything, it has to be gradual.  I need to keep this in mind.

Speaking of affection and relationships, I found out my cousin is getting a divorce.  His divorce is a complete shock to me.  He and his wife was like the perfect couple in my eyes.  Both were attractive, both made more than $100,000 a year and both have been together since high school.  From the information my parents told me, it seems like they are arguing over some petty crap.  It seems like his wife has become more and more demanding without putting in the effort to change herself even though my cousin wanted to change and talk about it.  It feels like his wife is holding one hell of a grudge, and my cousin stated that if they do go forward with divorce proceedings, there's no going back even if she wants to.  Both of them are starting to build on each other's hatred and it's starting to spiral downwards.  Sounds familiar, sounds like what happened between me and Julie.  Either my cousin or his soon-to-be-ex-wife will regret this later on, I guarantee it.  We'll see how this goes.

Nothing special is happening at work.  Just meeting more employees.  Shook their hands with a firm handshake, smiled, and made appropriate eye contact.  Five years of social and psychological self training is paying off.

On another note, I have been checking on my old blog.  Surprisingly, it still gets a dozen or so hits per week even though it ended nearly three years ago.  There were two iPhone views on Friday with no associated post or keywords, meaning whoever that is knows of my blog directly.  Weird, wonder who that is.  I looked back at one of the pics I posted in my second to last post:

This is where Julie and I lived during our first year at UCSD.  I lived on one end of the hallway in room 501, she lived in the opposite end in room 510.  It's kind of symbolic.  We lived in the opposite ends of the same hall, she was an ENFP and I'm an INTJ, the exact opposites of one another.  Like light and dark, like yin and yang, drawn to each other only to repel away.

I wish I was more forthcoming with my emotions back then, maybe things would have ended differently.  Hell, I would drive down to Los Angeles to be with her if she asked me to.