I've been checking who's been reading my blogs lately and it seems like several people from the past popped up. One is Julia Popova, the blonde who she and I shared a mutual attraction. Another is Julie Tu, another girl who I could have been with but I fucked it up in the end, as usual. Nothing more than distant memories from a bygone time of my life.
On another note, I think I'm slowly losing my mind. When I was at UCSD, I was seeing a psychologist to deal with my social anxiety and I asked him to test me for any signs of mental illness. My mind was so overwhelmed with thoughts, variables, probabilities and scenarios, that it became extremely difficult to think. I thought I was suffering from schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or some sort of mental illness. After a long questionnaire and an interpretation, my psychologist said I didn't have any mental disorders. I even became a research subject at the UCSD hospital to see if there's a physiological explanation. I subjected myself to EEGs and MRIs, but they also found nothing. I was normal. But still, even now, my mind is slowly being overwhelmed. It's like I can see every variation of an event at once. It's like a million thoughts trying to come out simultaneously. It's tiresome, I can't deal with this anymore.
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