One Year, Alone

It's officially been one year since I graduated from UCSD.  I still remember that day crystal clear.  I remember how I played pool the entire morning while people roamed the campus looking for their kids at graduation.  I still remember bumping into Jocelyn and talking to her, and I still remember how my roommates disappeared one by one.  One year has passed by so fast.  One blink and another year will have gone by.

Even though it's been a year, I have not been sitting still and doing nothing.  The objectives I set out a little bit more than a year ago in my previous blog is being accomplished.  I made the decision to go to San Jose State for computer science in the fall.  Right now I'm applying for jobs at my local community college.  I guess I would consider my path okay in regards to fulfilling professional goals. 

Accomplishing my personal goals, on the other hand, has been the complete opposite.  Over the last year, my drive to become a more social and outgoing person has completely stalled.  As noted in so many posts before, every now and then I would glitch up, making me unable to be socially "normal".  Initially I thought that by going to SJSU, I would be living on campus so that I'll have more chances of interacting with people.  My parents wanted to drive to school instead.  While it makes sense financially, it won't be socially beneficial.  Honestly, it doesn't matter, I have psychologically accepted that I might be alone for the rest of my life.  A part of me wants to be with someone, but every time a woman and I get close, I eventually end up pushing them away.  I still need to deal with that eventually, but I pretty much put that aside as a secondary objective.  I used to wish for a better next year, but what's the point really.

Note to self:  Push forward, get a great job.