Today was the last day at my IT internship. Afterwards it's full time at the tech company. I thought I would have make up some bs excuse to my supervisor at my large tech company about why I couldn't come in at certain days even though school is done, but they really don't care about it so that's a load off my back. After sending my two weeks notice, my IT supervisor didn't seem really pleased or happy or anything for that matter. I don't really blame her, my behavior around her, while not anti-social, wasn't exactly cheerful or outgoing. During the three months working at the the IT internship, I came to dread going there to work. The environment was nice, the people were nice, but something about getting close to others made me feel the need to push away. It's the same feeling I had when I was at UCSD. Whenever I got close to others, I would have to urge to push them away. It's that fear of being emotionally close to another person. It's still something I need to work on.
Saying goodbye to them was difficult. It wasn't due to emotions or anything like that, it was due to not knowing what to say. I didn't screw up that badly, but it still could have been better. Despite the screw up at the end, I felt that I did well interacting with them.
My interactions at the tech company have been neutral at best. My supervisor is nice though most of the time is concentrated on her own stuff. Strangely, I'm getting along quite well with the other intern that is my group. I managed to make her laugh several times and I'm more outgoing than usual around her. I don't know why though, maybe I see her as the little sister I never had. Other than the other intern and my supervisor, other people don't really care to interact with me. The feeling's mutual.
One annoying thing that has happened is that my INTJ vibe might have leaked out and spooked some of them. Everyday I go there, I put on a "happy" mask that makes me seem normal, but every now and then, my true self comes out. I think I might have freaked out some small Asian woman. Every time she sees me, she would take a step back and be hesitant around me. I think another worker might have felt the same way. Even worst, I think my supervisor's supervisor felt it as well. His demeanor towards me has changed over the past few weeks, going from outgoing to more hesitant around me. I think it's best for me to just stick to my cubicle.
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