Ever since graduating, the last two years have been weird. Over and over again, I keep seeing people I have met in high school and middle school, and I'm not hallucinating either. No doubt that it's probable that they would show up around San Francisco, but seeing so many of them is just strange. Even weirder are people who recognize me, but I have no idea who they are. Several days ago, I dropped off a package at an UPS store and the girl working there said she remembers me from high school, yet I have no idea who she is. I have no recollection of talking to her or even being in the same classes as her. Back at UCSD, there were people who kept coming up to me saying that they lived next door to me or remember me from a year ago and such. Am I really that oblivious to the world around me? Am I really that memorable? I'm not sure if I should be glad or freaked out about this.
After reviewing my interviews again, I realized I'm starting to regress again. All my little advancements in being social, becoming more "people friendly" and such are going backwards. Just yesterday, a job I applied to contacted me and wanted me to come in for an interview, but I made some bs excuse and turned it down. Part of me felt that it was useless, but another part of me actually felt afraid. It was something that I haven't felt in the last few years. I guess my social anxiety and anxiety in general is starting to creep in again. Not surprising really, I've been cooped up in my home the last couple of months and it seriously hampered my ability to socialize. I need to keep fighting it.
On another note, I've been having dreams about Julie lately. Don't know why I would, I've gotten over her a month after I graduated and quite honestly I don't miss her, but she keeps popping up every couple of nights. Dreams about the conversations we had, how she would come over to dorm room to see me etc. The one that keeps popping up the most was when she told her roommate that she didn't really like me. I guess it made a lasting impression and my subconscious is still trying to deal with it.
Note to self: Keep fighting social anxiety.
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