Several years ago when I was still at UCSD, I thought that I had avoidant personality disorder. It means that whenever I see someone I know I would avoid them at all cost and would hide rather than talk to them. After seeing a psychologist at UCSD and him acknowledging that I do suffer from it, I have been trying to deal with it for the last three years. Over the last three years I have been more and more successful in combating this problem and it felt like it was dissipating. However, in the past couple of weeks, I noticed myself becoming more and more avoidant of the people I know, especially the people I work with. In one case I avoided the IT manager at my work place and I think he noticed it. Though I said hi to him the next time I saw him, I can't help but feel that it made him upset. I hope it didn't jeopardize anything. I hope I'm not reverting back to what I was before, I'll have to keep working on it.
On another note, more and more companies are contacting me through the my bloomberg account, though many of them prefer to remain anonymous. I don't know if it should give me hope or make me despair since none have done anymore aside from requesting my resume after looking at my profile.
Note to self: Eliminate avoidant disorder.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Volunteering, Social Status
For the last three weeks, I was volunteering as an "Intake interviewer" for a volunteer income tax assistant site. I was supposed to go there every Friday from 9:30 to 12:00, but the boredom and the annoying amount of time to get there and back got the better me and I had to make up some bs excuse about why I had to quit. Though those three weeks didn't accomplish much, the social interactions I had there helped me get a sense of how I'm progressing socially.
I did not have any problems socializing with the secretary there or with the volunteer tax assistants there. When groups of people came in and I had to help them fill out their forms, I wasn't nervous conversing with them. For the most part, things went smoothly, however I had issues with one of the volunteers. Her name is Hui Yi or something like that and based on her body language and behavior, she thought I was attracted to her. She would refuse to make eye contact and would stay in another room. It wasn't until she found out that I was in a masters program from the other volunteers that she started talking to me. Can't believe people are so superficial, I know that social status plays a part in how one person view another, but to be so up front about it is annoying. Even though I found her behavior annoying, my conversations with her was decent. My body language, eye contact, and voice was optimal. Whether my behavior is due to my "professionalism" or due to behavior modifications in the last few years, I am unsure.
I did not have any problems socializing with the secretary there or with the volunteer tax assistants there. When groups of people came in and I had to help them fill out their forms, I wasn't nervous conversing with them. For the most part, things went smoothly, however I had issues with one of the volunteers. Her name is Hui Yi or something like that and based on her body language and behavior, she thought I was attracted to her. She would refuse to make eye contact and would stay in another room. It wasn't until she found out that I was in a masters program from the other volunteers that she started talking to me. Can't believe people are so superficial, I know that social status plays a part in how one person view another, but to be so up front about it is annoying. Even though I found her behavior annoying, my conversations with her was decent. My body language, eye contact, and voice was optimal. Whether my behavior is due to my "professionalism" or due to behavior modifications in the last few years, I am unsure.
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