Rushing, Single-Mindedness

Even though I have for the most part explored and tried to correct my personality flaws over the last four years, I have still not addressed one that has plagued me throughout my life.  For some reason, I tend rush through things, even when people are speaking.  For example, they may be talking and my mind immediately fills in the blanks about what they are saying and I say okay.  There were several times that the person I'm talking to stops and stares at me.  I never realized how rude it was before until I thought about it.  I guess I need to address that.

On another note, I went to the accounting orientation today and it was pure nightmare fuel.  There were constant "networking" events throughout the whole 8 hours.  Absolutely tiring and demoralizing.  Being there reminds me of how much of an outsider I still am and most likely will be forever.  Still, it's not much of a bother to me.  I have to push forward.

Note to self:  Wait until someone finishes before doing something else.  Don't interrupt them.

Fear

School is starting up again and I'm absolutely frightened.  Whether I succeed or not in graduate school will determine how my life will be. I still can't decide whether to go into computer science or accounting.  Both of them are good but I don't know what the future is going to be like.  It is said that INTJs are supposed to be decisive and stick to their decision once they make one, and yet I can't.  Sigh, I hope I make the right choice.

On another note, my "job" at CCSF is going well.  Being forced to interact with others either in person or through the telephone has helped me improve my sociability a lot.  Though it is on a professional level, I hope I can transfer it to a more intimate, interpersonal level with others.

Body Language, Business Deal

Summer classes ended last Friday and I have this week and the next off.  Nothing much to do except prepare for the fall.  Aside from doing nothing I've been helping my dad with his business.  I sometimes go with him to meet with clients and help him out.  Due to my ability to "read" people's body language, I can tell when something is going well or bad with the client.  For this client, it didn't went so well.  Even though we got the contract, it will most likely be a one time thing.  It really doesn't matter to me or my dad since the client is one of those snooty rich people and we prefer to have little to do with them.

My ability to read others is both a blessing and a curse.  To know what another person is thinking about you can be both confidence boosting or devastating.  I wish I could use this ability to make money somehow rather than have it constantly torture me.